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How do I become more confident?

Every month we invite our community to ask questions relating to their own professional and personal development. If you have a question you'd like to ask us, please send us an email here... info@modocoaching.com.au

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Question for September, 2020

​How do I become more ​confident?

​Josh D - Albury, Australia

Modo's Answer

Many people believe that they are not confident and find it difficult to practice this skill. We often find at Modo that this is one of the most common requests in our coaching programs – “I want to grow my confidence”.   

Here are a few ideas to get you started on your journey to becoming more ​confident...

First, answer these questions for yourself below;

  • How confident are you currently 0-10?
  • How ​confident do you want to become 0-10?
  • ​What stops you from being more ​confident?
  • What resources do you think you need to become more ​confident? New skills, confidence, courage?
  • In what contexts do you want to display ​confidence? With work colleagues? Family? Certain situations? Be specific.
  • What impact will it have on you and others when you are more ​confident in these contexts? Where might it not be valuable?
  • Why do this? Why is becoming more ​confident important to you?

Next, explore what confidence is to you and what it is not? It is important that you know what confidence is, so you know what it looks like or feels like when you achieve it. 

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Confidence is: ​

  • ​Being certain and feeling assurance.
  • ​Being able to try new things and learn.
  • Self-confidence is when you trust yourself.
  • Self-Confidence is when you know your strengths and weaknesses.
  • ​Being able to rely upon and trust others.
  • ​Being open to learning from your mistakes.
  • ​Knowing you are worthwhile whether you win or lose.
  • ​Being able to observe yourself without judgement.

Confidence is not:

  • Letting fear or doubt control you.
  • Worrying about the outcomes.
  • Being afraid of failure.

​How do I practice being ​confident?

First you may need to access the resource you discovered earlier… new skills, permission, or courage for example. It may be a lack of permission to be confident that is stopping you from being more confident, therefore it is not actually more confidence that you need, but permission to be confident which will allow this skill to materialise. We all have the resources we need; we just don’t always know how to access sequence and strengthen them. This is where a coach can help.

Next start with one situation where you would like to practice being more confident. And ask yourself, what would it look like in this situation if I were being more confident? As you practice this new skill or resource, it is important to measure your success. How confident were you 0-10? Are you getting closer to your goal?

It can also be valuable to tell others what you are trying to achieve, ask them to give you feedback on your new skills. Again, this is where a coach can help. Having an accountability partner is often what supports you to push yourself out of your comfort zone and to practice these new skills.

I hope this has helped you get started in becoming more confident, please feel free to reach out to us here at Modo if you would like a skilled coach to assist you on your journey.

About the Author Tamara Pickard

Tamara Pickard is an Executive Coach, Trainer and a Managing Director of Modo Coaching and Training, with many years of experience leading large organisations. Tamara is a certified Meta-Coach, Master NLP practitioner and experienced Enneagram facilitator, and her passion is to facilitate people to discover and actualise their highest potentials in their personal and professional lives.

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